Punching You in the Face!


 Views from the Couch

There is nothing wrong with being right.

You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face

12 Feb 2012 1,003 Comments

by queenofthecouchin Parenting and Random ShitTags: , , , , , ,

On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day:

I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child,  coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime.  I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”.  I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own.  I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children.  Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy.  If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.

When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment?  And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships?  How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery  for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.

My daughter is `10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate.  There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line.  Wrong.  I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable.  I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down.  I want my daughter to know that the  boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that  will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life.  I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should  tell me.  If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then,  if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me.  Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her.  He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist.  When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm  and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered?  Fuck off.  I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter.  If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary.  They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.

I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect.  Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love.  I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls.  I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her.  I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.

The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.

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15 Comments

Filed under Current events, Life, Marriage, Parenting

15 responses to “Punching You in the Face!

  1. Pingback: Follow Up to Falsely Accused Teacher | Teachers Outside the Box

  2. I’m just now getting the chance to check out your blog! So many people have told me that they found me via breakitdownpete. I just want to say thanks for the reblog and the words of support and the new fans. Much appreciated!

  3. Pete, thanks so much for posting that. We should make it required reading for young girls. Again you’ve demonstrated that your site is the place to come for no-punches-pulled truth. See you after April 17th 🙂

  4. Yes, yes and yahoo for voices voicing what many only think. Thanks for the share, Pete 🙂

  5. I’ve read several of her posts, which made this one belong just like the rest. I guess it was the topic and real story telling that threw people. I read a great post written by a “mom” with great passion for her daughter. Certainly, she was getting a point(s) across and venting (in her blog voice way) at the same time. I do the same. Nothing strikes a chord more than someone hurting our own child.
    Cheers to your post, her post and the reposting!

  6. Raven of Leyla

    I liked her blog very impressive thanks for the link and the story. I left my long comment there.
    I must say I agree with “lizziecracked” she says it better than me.
    My g-dau punched a boy back and got suspended from school for it. That blew me away!!!
    Great post and thanks for sharing 😉

  7. I really enjoyed her original post. I agree, anyone who expresses those sort of ‘affections’ probably needs some work on their communication skills. Of course, since most of this was about children, this would be the case anyway.

    I found her other posts to be valid too, if only because a blog is like a specialty store. The owner decides the merchandise, and you can decide to either buy it or move on. If she wants to say fuck, good for her. It’s a great word with a wide breadth of uses. I enjoy using it frequently in real life, and moderately on my blog.

    That thing about her kid being pushed up against a wall made my stomach churn. It was a shitty thing to say, and I hope one day he looks back on that comment with shame and embarrassment. I somehow doubt this will be the case, though.. so I will just say that I hope that douche nozzle doesn’t ever have kids.

    Ultimately, as much as it pains me in some cases, I’m on the side of free speech. I despise some of the shit that was said to her.. but I defend the fact that they have the right to say it. For me to feel any other way would just be hypocritical.

    • a blog is like a specialty store. The owner decides the merchandise, and you can decide to either buy it or move on.
      Check and Checkmate! What a great line! Welcome so excited to have your voice here.
      I hope one day he looks back on that comment with shame and embarrassment.
      We can only hope!
      Ultimately, as much as it pains me in some cases, I’m on the side of free speech. I despise some of the shit that was said to her.. but I defend the fact that they have the right to say it. For me to feel any other way would just be hypocritical.
      Simply a home run! Shit can you please say something dopey or else i will have to step up my game and actually start using my spell check!

  8. I am fucking shocked at that comment that person left about rape. I moderate my comments cuz I speak my mind and may offend someone. I don’t want my blog to turn into a forum. I thought this community was a great place with decent people but now I know it is not. Thank you for posting this because it is very important. I am now angry myself. It’s funny. Presentation is everything. A poet I follow wrote a poem on the same subject. No problem. Halfway wrote an article on the subject. No problem. She was upset, used a few cuss words and people loose their fuckin minds. Such bull shit. She handled it well. But I wouldn’t keep feeding into they bull shit if I was her cuz it’s not worth it. Her message made it all over the web. I put on FB and Twitter myself. Point made.

    • Thank you for the comment. I am pissed also but i want to focus on the content of her post. And PLEASE don’t take it out on our community here at W.P. BECAUSE AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE SOME INCREDIBLE READERS HERE! Good and decent just like yourself…

  9. Standing OVATION!!!! I don’t see a damn thing wrong with what she has to say – in fact it makes perfect sense. The only way the -“he just like you” statement is acceptable to me or that i would tell my daughters is a little good natured teasing (read – not being an asshole about a perceived imperfection or something that sets them apart already, for example my 8 yo has a large cyst on her arm that is rather unsightly but she is only self conscious about it because kids being kids pointed it out and made fun of her – that isn;t what I mean by good natured teasing.) She hit it DEAD ON!!! and wow I cuss more than that… what the fuck is the problem? Seriously though I try not to drop the f-bomb but I did not feel her use of it was out of the realm of needed. It fit. Bravo! She has a new follower….
    🙂 Peace

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