Tag Archives: children

Horrific Abuse


WARNING! THIS VIDEO IS DISTURBING, HEART BREAKING, SAD, GRAPHIC.                                                              I am almost speechless, I have a few questions? How does this happen? Why is this not breaking news? Why is there not a national outrage about this video, Why aren’t the parents under arrest? Just simply W.T.F. is going on in life that this is the outcome. There is so much conversation within this video. Please look past the color of the children, this is going on in every group of people. The question is how do we stop it! How do we educate against this. My God this is a child! doing this to babies! What kind of abuse must he be getting at home? This has to be a learned action. I can’t believe he is just pure evil. It must be a product of his environment? I have to stop now, I will update more when I control my anger.   UPDATE: THE VIDEO IS BACK UP AND ACTION IS BEING TAKEN!!! THANK YOU ALL!!!  Why am I so crazy over this? It’s because these are the types of kids i want to touch with my words. Just imagine if this kid grows up to be a 6ft.5 / 280lb. man. what type of pain he will infict on his wife and kids if he does not get help now while he is still young.

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FATHER is what I AM.


In honor of FATHERS day I want to repost the letter I wrote to my first-born daughter way back in the 70″s. Some thing magical happened when I first held her in my arms. I can not explain it. I don’t know what happened but that 18-year-old boy from the south Bronx was changed for ever. I was shaking and emotional. She was the most AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL thing I had ever seen. I can still smell her. I can’t explain how great that baby smell is if you have never had a child but trust me it is wonderous! And you will NEVER forget it. I remember staring at her for hours and then I felt myself tingling and knowing that I was changing some how I can’t explain it, I just knew something was happening. I held her close to me so I could whisper in her ear and that’s when I told her. “I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO YOU.” And so began my journey to becoming a FATHER. And over the next couple of years I came to understand what being a father was and i put a pen to paper and this is the letter I wrote.

Father… What is a father? For me it is who I am, what I am, what I want to be, what I need to be. It is the responsibility I live for. I will not apologize for being a father, for being the adult when the situation calls for it. I will make the decision I belive is the right one as your father, not as your friend. I will love you unconditionally. I will protect you till my last breath. I will respect you and demand you respect me. I will financially support you. I will emotionally encourage you to dream to believe in the greatness that is inside you. I will push you to be the best you can be, what you want to be , not who I want or think you should be. I will accept your individuality, your life style choices, I will never judge you. I will just love and support you. I will educate you-not because I am more intelligent than you, but because I am more experienced than you, because I have already made the mistakes and learned from them and I want to share them with you to help you avoid repeating them. This I swear to you! This I promise! I dedicated my life to you the day you were born. You will always be my first and only priority. I will never raise my hand to you. I will never abandon you. Because I AM A FATHER.

If you are a young man thinking about becoming a FATHER or already are a FATHER I encourage you to read my letter a few times and see if any of it can help you in your journey into FATHERHOOD. I do not claim it to be anything other than how I feel so please don’t take it as me preaching or saying that this is definitive. I just know that this is how I have lived my life. I have accomplished much in my life. From becoming a u.s.marine, to staying married for almost 40 years, to my many career accomplishments but nothing even comes close to being a good FATHER!

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Punching You in the Face!


 Views from the Couch

There is nothing wrong with being right.

You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face

12 Feb 2012 1,003 Comments

by queenofthecouchin Parenting and Random ShitTags: , , , , , ,

On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day:

I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child,  coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime.  I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”.  I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own.  I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children.  Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy.  If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.

When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment?  And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships?  How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery  for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.

My daughter is `10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate.  There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line.  Wrong.  I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable.  I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down.  I want my daughter to know that the  boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that  will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life.  I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should  tell me.  If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then,  if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me.  Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her.  He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist.  When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm  and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered?  Fuck off.  I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter.  If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary.  They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.

I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect.  Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love.  I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls.  I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her.  I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.

The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.

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YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE


This is an incredible song and what i believe and what i want this blog to represent. Nothing but POSITIVE. It is truly amazing how much of an impact on the lives of some people JUST A LITTLE ATTENTION AND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT can mean. Every body on earth should watch and listen to this video. From Rascal Flatts. SHARE it with your kids or some one special. Then write and leave a comment on the EPIC WINNERS IN YOUR LIFE. (Here are the words to the first minute or so of this song.) So you made a lot of mistakes – walked down the road a little side ways – cracked a rib when you hit the wall – yea so didn’t do your best – it pulled you down faster than a sun set – hey it happens to us all – when the cold hard rain just won’t quit and can’t see your way out of it – your faith has been lost and shaken – here’s your chance and it’s worth taking – get on your knees and dig down deep you can do what you think is impossible – keep on believing and don’t give in you got the strength to race the wind – remember what one hard dream can do – YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE – you can weather any storm – don’t you know that you were BORN TO WIN.

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