FATHER is what i am

In honor of FATHERS day I want to repost the letter I wrote to my first-born daughter way back in the 70″s. Some thing magical happened when I first held her in my arms. I can not explain it. I don’t know what happened but that 18-year-old boy from the south Bronx was changed for ever. I was shaking and emotional. She was the most AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL thing I had ever seen. I can still smell her. I can’t explain how great that baby smell is if you have never had a child but trust me it is wonderous! And you will NEVER forget it. I remember staring at her for hours and then I felt myself tingling and knowing that I was changing some how I can’t explain it, I just knew something was happening. I held her close to me so I could whisper in her ear and that’s when I told her. “I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO YOU.” And so began my journey to becoming a FATHER. And over the next couple of years I came to understand what being a father was and i put a pen to paper and this is the letter I wrote.

Father… What is a father? For me it is who I am, what I am, what I want to be, what i need to be. It is the responsibility I live for. I will not apologize for being a father, for being the adult when the situation calls for it. I will make the decision I belive is the right one as your father, not as your friend. I will love you unconditionally. I will protect you till my last breath. I will respect you and demand you respect me. I will financially support you. I will emotionally encourage you to dream to believe in the greatness that is inside you. I will push you to be the best you can be, what you want to be , not who I want or think you should be. I will accept your individuality, your life style choices, i will never judge you. I will just love and support you. I will educate you-not because I am more intelligent than you, but because i am more experienced than you, because I have already made the mistakes and learned from them and I want to share them with you to help you avoid repeating them. This I swear to you! This I promise! I dedicated my life to you the day you were born. You will always be my first and only priority. I will never raise my hand to you. I will never abandon you. Because I AM A FATHER.

If you are a young man thinking about becoming a FATHER or already are a FATHER I encourage you to read my letter a few times and see if any of it can help you in your journey into FATHERHOOD. I do not claim it to be anything other than how I feel so please don’t take it as me preaching or saying that this is definitive. I just know that this is how I have lived my life. I have accomplished much in my life. From becoming a u.s.marine, to staying married for almost 40 years, to my many career accomplishments but nothing even comes close to being a good FATHER!


Filed under Current events, Life, Marriage, Parenting

37 responses to “FATHER is what i am

  1. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    This is the most beautiful post on the web, Pete. Beautiful. Bless you, for being a worthy father.

  2. Double posting because it is double good. I wrote on the twin post.

  3. Great post, I am still learning…. 🙂

  4. Great post! I’m a father too and it is the best thing in the world. It is a privilege that too many take for granted.

    • Well said Mike. Striving to be a GREAT father is what defines me. I have had many challenges in my life and great achievements like serving this great country that i love as a US MARINE but no greater am I then when I am a FATHER! AND NOW A grandfather!

  5. That is awesome, I wish all men that sire children felt that way! Oh what different world this would be!
    I popped in because I saw that you subscribed to my blog, thank you, I”m glad you enjoyed it.
    Great post thanks

  6. I had a fall out with my father few years back. We used to be the best of friends and now we’re like strangers. It doesn’t bother me most of the time but sometimes I’d like to have that relationship back.

    This post makes me wonder if he’ll always feel the way you wrote you would. My mom said we’re both too alike and that’s why neither of us would want to break the ice first. I’d like to think I grew up but maybe for him I changed from the little girl he used to have to a grown up woman he barely knows anymore. Oh, well.

    And oh, thanks for following my blog. Thrilled to get someone like you liking it enough to follow it!

    • Welcome! Just to let you know i hear you and would like to respond in more detail. For now know that my oldest daughter is 35 and what i said in my post has not changed one bit. And i really enjoy your site!!

  7. stephanie d edwards

    Thank you so much for visiting my blog recently and for writing this post which touches so closely to strong feelings I have about what fatherhood should be. As a mother, I also praise the commitment your words reflect. Wonderful.

  8. talkzcheap

    Very good post. I am a mother and I can relate with this in its entirety. There is nothing in this world like being a parent and having the love you feel for your children. Wonderful and very powerful blog you have.

    • Wow! Thank you so much. Yes knowing what i know now about how incredible it is that we have the power to mold our children and to enjoy their love as they grow into adults. And then when they grow up to have them still want to be involved in your life and they enjoy being around you. I just can’t explain how great that feels. At the end of the day what i am most proud of is being a good father.

  9. This is an incredibly moving post. As a dad of 2 young boys, it’s a nice reminder of the role I should always play in their lives and development.

  10. Tracy Ewens

    I will educate you, not because i am more intelligent than you, but because I am more experienced than you…Love that line. This is a great post. What I love is that it’s not fluff, it’s a real, fantastic, hard to do promise.

    • Tracy thanks for the visit. I have been thinking about your comment for a few days now, you really nailed it. It is real. I told this to all my daughters. I have always spoken to them NOT at them. I always gave them my reasoning for my decisions. And an opportunity for them to debate me so they can learn early how to trust and make good decisions.

  11. Thanks for stopping by my blog http://whyfatherhoodrocks.wordpress.com/
    and suggesting I read this post by you. You have voiced so poignantly what I have thought about being a father.
    Glad you found my blog and thanks for introducing me to yours!

    • You are very welcome. I took your greatest gift challenge about 36 years ago and i am happy to say that i have a passing grade so far. 35 years ago i choose to be a FATHER and every word of my post is true to my life. Father is what i am………

  12. You made me cry, what a lovely entry. It just goes to show the unconditional love a father SHOULD have for his child! I love it! Very good morals and values. I have respect for you.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. I follow you blog because it is simply AMAZING! Please feel free to contribute on my Say It Page as you have so much too say. Yes this post is autobiographical and every word is true.

  13. Wow I admire men like you who can never hurt women. I’m sure your wife and your children is so proud of you… I’m so happy to know there are still men who can keep their marriage upbeat and happy… I wish I find one for myself too 🙂 I’ll find time to say something on your Say It I Dare You page…

    Keep inspiring!!!

  14. megmraz

    Love this. It seems like the true definition of “father” is being lost in society… as the good ones out there become more rare. I am very blessed to have such an awesome dad, and I’m so thankful for all the other men out there who step up and are truly there for their kids.

  15. Wonderful entry. I love it!

  16. all I can say is awesome… your children are very lucky to have you in their lives.

    • Thank you for the visit! Did you check out my post WHAT YOU THINK YOUR A MAN on the second page? I set up this blog to inspire our young brothers and sisters from all walks of life.

  17. you are very welcome. and i look forward to your comment!

  18. the last few lines of this post made me genuinely tear up.

  19. Thank you. Reading this reminded me that despite my experience there are good men and good fathers in the world. Thank you for being a positive force in the world. Too many parents believe that having a child is like buying and interactive toy. And that the child should raise itself, become ritch and famous, and support them in their old age. Far too few parents believe the way you do, Im afraid.Its refreshing to learn that some fathers choose to be FATHERS rather than just sperm donors.

    • Thank you so much….Your post SHE WILL NEVER GET THAT PIECE BACK really got me fired up and i almost commented to it on pure emotion. But i took a breath and have spent the last few days thinking how i will comment on it in a few days without emotions driving the conversation. I have been married and in love with my wife for 36 years. I have 3 grown daughters and a 5 year old granddaughter, extremely patriotic, U.S. marine corps veteran and PRO WOMEN. I really get pissed when women hurt especially when they hurt because of men.

  20. uticketit

    what a lovely blog… its really sweet….

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