Tag Archives: Humor

Appropriate yet inappropriate photos

I told you not to make the HULK ANGRY!

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  St. Patrick’s Day Hangover

http://guapola.wordpress.com/ Said:  “And you thought blueballs were bad?”

http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/ Said:  Here’s to GOING GREEN

Appropriate for my site yes! For my usual readership, hell Yes! For other stick up the ass, bouche, condescending sites whose readers have the attention span of a gerbil, the sense of humor of a comma patient – Maybe not so much! I have decided that this week I am going to just let my hair down and have some  fun with some sexy photo campaigns from ad agencies from around the world. Like they say Sex sells. These are ads that push the inappropriate line of sex innuendos to sell a product or idea. I am going to give you some of my own twisted, seriously inappropriate captions and you see if you can add an even better caption then mine in your comments! Come on now, my usual suspects. Dont let me down I know how funny and dirty you guys can get! come get some! Dont make me call you out by name! Stoopidhousewifes, Lafemmeroar, Lizziecracked, Lorna, J.a.m, Guapo, Ohmar, Cayman, Linda, Lorrelee…………..I will copy some of your captions into my post next to my captions so they show up on the post and we can compare, funny for funny and dirty for dirty.

Make my Martini JERCKED NO STIRRED!           Enjoy your COCKtail!

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  Deep throating can get your drunk

http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/ Said:  THIS will make you speak German … TULOSBA!!

 http://articlesofabsurdity.wordpress.com/ Said:  Kill 2 birds with one stone. Put it in and drink it up, but not necessarily in that order

Practice safe food, always wear a hair net when EATING TACO!      To save a life remember; 3 short breaths followed by chest compressions.

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  Bushtache

http://guapola.wordpress.com/ Said:  “I wanted a chainsaw like in Army of Darkness, but they said this would be safer”  “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY WIFE, CLOUSEAU??!?”

http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/ Said:  I hate parsley on my food, but this is fine!

http://articlesofabsurdity.wordpress.com/ Said:  Discount if you cum together.

To kneel or not to kneel that was the question? I like your answer!

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  I worship the Schlong

http://guapola.wordpress.com/ Said:  “Flirt Vodka – for disinfecting the worst cuts and scratches”

http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/ Said:  Flirt Vodka will make you happy … real happy

http://articlesofabsurdity.wordpress.com/ Said:  So good, you’ll drop to your knees. **Apply liberally to wombs post-event.

Sure i got an extra cigarette right here for you!    Yes of course it’s a lite cigarette!

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  Don’t blow smoke in my mouth

http://guapola.wordpress.com/ Said:  “No no no, blow and suck mean the same thing here”

http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/ Said:  “Smoking Kills” … that’s just a myth!

http://articlesofabsurdity.wordpress.com/ Said:  “Before I go down, you are going to have to filter that.”

Before Proactive!       I’ll take Nipple for 200 Alex!

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  I’ve got milk in my zit!

http://guapola.wordpress.com/ Said:  “Do you think I should pop it?”

 http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/ Said:  Squeeze here and you might get a surprise

 http://articlesofabsurdity.wordpress.com/ Said:  Can I touch you zit?

Its magic baby!     I’m just a love machine!    Armed and Dangerous!

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  One of your hands keeps giving me “the birdie”

http://guapola.wordpress.com/ Said:  “Shiva is also the god of love.”

http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/Said:  This way I’ll reach every hole

http://articlesofabsurdity.wordpress.com/ Said:  “Would you tell Susan I like it rough and are those Peter’s hands? If this wasn’t so hot, I’d be really grossed out right now.”

This could be worse, these stitches could be in your ASS!     What part of XXL did you not believe!

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  Aftermath of a blow job marathon

http://guapola.wordpress.com/ Said:  “Wear protection – you do not want a cold sore down there!”

 http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/ Said:  I take deep throat VERY seriously

http://articlesofabsurdity.wordpress.com/ Said:  That was really a mouthful.

Takes an asshole to know an asshole!          Looks like a preparation H. day!

http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/ Said:  De-constipating the job market

http://amorsthoughts.wordpress.com/ Said:  This is how many asses it takes to run an office

http://guapola.wordpress.com/ Said:  “Back! Back from whence you came, Yuppies!”

 http://articlesofabsurdity.wordpress.com/ Said:  “All aboard the StinkHole!”


Filed under Current events, Life, Marriage, Sexy

Yea! i read your’e shit! .2

Stoopid HouseWives = Great site / You not reading and following this site = You Stooooooopid!  This is one straight Gangsta and powerful site with a cult like following of rabid fans and Haters. Why do I call this site Gangsta? Because they pull no punches when it comes to shouting out those silly housewives franchises with inside scoop and dirt. They get up all in their faces with photos and videos. I have not ever even seen a single episode of any of the housewives shows but I am hooked on this site. (On the down low of course cause Gangsta’s like me don’t pay attention to this shit). Why do I call this site Powerful? Because they F**k’n are!! I get on average 10 hit’s per day JUST from being on their blogroll and when they actually recommended one of my post – it received over 600 hits in only 12 hours! And over 1,500 in the last few months. So you see in my little world they are pretty BAD ASS! So go read their shit already…

Lafemmeroar:  No I did not mis-spell it.  No I have no idea how you pronounce it. Is it french or just dyslexic?  WTF I have no clue! What I do know is how funny and kool it is and how quickly it has gained popularity (of course it’s because I discovered her! I think I was one of her very first followers. I’m probably lying, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! I also came up with the name B.A.D.CLUB) ( bad ass dudes) To try to fend off her wildly popular CRAZY CHICKS CLUB! She also has a great question of the week or month or get to know you better or some shit like that series that gives women more opportunity to talk and talk and talk.  Bottom line is if you are a woman, you should be in her club and if you’re a dude you should at least check out this site so you can  gather some intel.  O-Yea one more thing she has a fascination with schlongs and cooking them or cutting them up. so when I read her site I wear a schlong protector. You have been warned. Ha Ha this was fun!

***My fellaz I will get to you guys in my next set im just seating the women so they can have a front row view to our GREATNESS! and Lizzie you also will be in my next set, I’m just waiting for my restraining order against you to be approved because I think you a little dangerous. Kidding I’m just stupid and having some fun. (please don’t kill me)

Wellshutmymouth:  Yea I know what you are thinking, Yea boy here we go Pete’s gonna break down a porn site!  No dumb asses get your mind out of the gutter!  This place belongs to my dear Miss Sassy who is an absolute joy to read. Yea I discovered her also just like Linda. I was instrumental in getting her Grammy nominated you know! (starting to see a delusional pattern developing here)  Here is her latest post http://wellshutmymouth.com/2012/01/03/new-year-same-bitch/#more-297  See what I mean she is out of control. and so is her site. In just about 6 months she has over 325 followers and close to 500 facebook likes. She’s from Texas so you know why her mouth is so big – everything is bigger in texas. She is madly in love with her man Mr. H and has a son she calls B. I guess the family is poor and can’t afford full names? So maybe we hold a fund-raiser for her down the road. Go check her out and let me know what you think.

PDWMS:  This is one of my PRO’S. Here we go again NO it’s not about porn, she is not a working girl. Wait, Wait Pump the brakes. Wait a minute come to think of it she is a working girl, A hard-working, business owning Accountant. Don’t stop reading and skip to the next review. Thinking that this is a boring site with a stick up the ass accountant talking numbers. It is far from it. And yes I can say stick up the ass and not be disrespectful because she herself in her welcome page lets you know that after the 15th she herself pulls it out and the party is on! Women will love her because her only purpose in life is to rebuild MEN. Dont know why we need rebuilding because I think we are already perfect! Maybe it’s because she is a Magna cum laude, 3 college degrees holding, poker playing, Paris trained at cordon blue cook, and attention whore, who lives in snooty Simi valley california. You know she is loaded. Her name is Paula D. Williams and she probably got her money from divorcing  Billy D. Williams and is the sister of    Wendy Williams. Ha, Ha I just made that up but it rhymes and you know I’m an inspiring rapper, Yea Boooy! Oh shit this sounds rough I know but I swear I took it from her about me page and just spun it for some laughs. She knows I love her, she is so kool and fun! Go check her out and tell her I KID, I KID!  My dudes you need to read her site so you can see what crazy women think about us and will better be able to watch your backs.  **P.S. tell the truth, she looks like a fine hot ass version of Oprah. right, right call me back let me know!** ON A SERIOUSE NOTE:  This is what I am talking about when I say believe in the greatness that is you, here is a strong, INDEPENDENT, woman who is happy in her life and has fed her soul!!!

Coupletastic:  Ok now I have to get serious because I think this women is a doctor and a professional (HOT looking) couples counselor and I might need her services in the near future, if I keep messing with people here on W.P. and they complain to my wife and she beats my ass! Plus Kristin, Yea that’s her name. Also has a master’s degree in psychology so I’m scarred of her, she might do one of those reverse psychology things on me and I’m f’d up enough already on my own thank you very much. On a serious note: Her site is full of great resources and great advice. I hope to team up with her in the future as she has similar views on marriage and relationships as I do. And after all the joking and fun my true goal is to inspire and believe in the greatness that is you!

** Please click thru and follow some of these great sites!  So i don’t feel like the 200 hours it took me to write this shit was  a waste.  And would it kill you to like this post or leave a comment?


Filed under Current events, Life, Marriage