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Category Archives: Parenting
PLAY IT LOUD! FEEL IT! UNDERSTAND IT! BELIEVE IT! don’t you dare not watch the whole thing…
AMAZING, POIGNANT, A must listen to piece of musical and lyrical genius! Yea, Yea, i know it’s 7 plus minutes long. Go ahead tell me where are you going right now to a wedding, a fire. Stop it you know you have 7 minutes to listen too and read and reflect on these powerful words. ENJOY THE POWER AND BEAUTY OF YOUR YOUTH. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. BUT TRUST ME in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t GRASP now how much POSSIBILITY lay before you! and how FABULOUS YOU REALLY LOOKED. You are not as fat as you imagined. Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, but DON’T PUT UP WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE RECKLESS WITH YOURS! Holly shit batman put that burger down and pay some freaking attention will you!! BELIEVE IN YOU! be happy, be successful. Live, love and laugh.
Seriously i am about to let everybody have a piece of my mind on this one! For you self-righteous, stick up the ass, politically correct, i am better than you assholes. I’m gonna need you to back the f-up. Are you shitting me? This style bothers you enough to enact laws against it. How about skinny jeans on guys? speedos? Tattoos? Etc. Etc. Etc. Get a grip! Unless you are showing your private parts you should be able to embarrass yourself with the style of clothing you choose. Ohhhh man now for the culprits who wear this style. Wake the f-up! Don’t even give me your bullshit talking points about how this is your statement against the society who oppresses you or I’m gangster, i represent. Represent what? That you are clueless, that you want to perpetuate the stereo type of our immature youth. Represent who? The other fools in your circle, your street corner who are going nowere fast. Stop kidding yourself . How many grown, intelligent, professional’s do you know who dress like this. This style is played out and for kids.Dressing like this for approval from losers on your block is stupid. Come on lets move on and be proud, be strong, be grown and build a positive life for yourself. I believe in you and you should believe in yourself and know that you are better than this! I copied and pasted the following articles from news sources.
sagging pants, a style popularized in the early 1990s by hip-hop artists, are becoming a criminal offense in a growing number of communities.
Behind the indecency laws may be the real issue — the hip-hop style itself, which critics say is worn as a badge of delinquency, with its distinctive walk conveying thuggish swagger and a disrespect for authority. Also at work is the larger issue of freedom of expression and the questions raised when fashion moves from being merely objectionable to illegal.
Starting in Louisiana, an intensifying push by lawmakers has determined pants worn low enough to expose underwear poses a threat to the public, and they have enacted indecency ordinances to stop it.
Since June 11, sagging pants have been against the law in Delcambre, La., a town of 2,231 that is 80 miles southwest of Baton Rouge. The style carries a fine of as much as $500 or up to a six-month sentence.
An ordinance in Mansfield, a town of 5,496 near Shreveport, subjects offenders to a fine (as much as $150 plus court costs) or jail time (up to 15 days). the law, which takes effect Sept. 15, will set a good civic image.
Sagging began in prison, where oversized uniforms were issued without belts to prevent suicide and their use as weapons. The style spread through rappers and music videos, from the ghetto to the suburbs and around the world.
The American Civil Liberties Union has been steadfast in its opposition to dress restrictions. Debbie Seagraves, the executive director of the A.C.L.U. of Georgia said, “I don’t see any way that something constitutional could be crafted when the intention is to single out and label one style of dress that originated with the black youth culture, as an unacceptable form of expression.”
Not since the zoot suit has a style been greeted with such strong disapproval.
Following a pattern of past fashion bans, the sagging prohibitions are seen by some as racially motivated because the wearers are young, predominantly African-American men.
Yet, this legislation has been proposed largely by African-American officials. It may speak to a generation gap. Michael Eric Dyson, a professor of sociology at Georgetown University and the author of “Know What I Mean?: Reflections on Hip Hop,” said, “They’ve bought the myth that sagging pants represents an offensive lifestyle which leads to destructive behavior.”
Benjamin Chavis, the former executive director of the N.A.A.C.P., said, “I think to criminalize how a person wears their clothing is more offensive than what the remedy is trying to do.”
News One is reporting that a small town in Georgia has passed a law in which they will fine men who wear “saggy pants” $50 for their first offense. Hampton will fine men $100 for the second offense, and third-time offenders will be charged $200.
We wonder who will be targeted (tongue implanted firmly in cheek). Plenty of folks wear saggy jeans, but it bothers some so much that they would fine those people for a poor fashion decision? Aside from the fact that saggy pants have long been played out and we really don’t understand why anyone outside of prison would wear the look, what is the need to fine folks? Is there nothing else going on in Hampton, Ga.?
Other than freedom of choice, we don’t know why young black men continue to insist on wearing this look, any more than some of us insisted on wearing high-top fades, super baggy jeans, Coogi sweaters or Cross Colors way past the expiration date. If young people choose to do so, then they should be able to do it. Hopefully they will grow out of it, and if they don’t, we’ll talk about them behind their backs like everybody else and keep it moving. We don’t fine them for being fashion backward.
Besides, until they start fining people for wearing flip-flops (often with no pedicures in sight) in business spaces and low-cut jeans, we can’t get behind this one. We’ve seen enough plumber’s crack and muffin tops to last a lifetime.
This is an incredible song and what i believe and what i want this blog to represent. Nothing but POSITIVE. It is truly amazing how much of an impact on the lives of some people JUST A LITTLE ATTENTION AND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT can mean. Every body on earth should watch and listen to this video. From Rascal Flatts. SHARE it with your kids or some one special. Then write and leave a comment on the EPIC WINNERS IN YOUR LIFE. (Here are the words to the first minute or so of this song.) So you made a lot of mistakes – walked down the road a little side ways – cracked a rib when you hit the wall – yea so didn’t do your best – it pulled you down faster than a sun set – hey it happens to us all – when the cold hard rain just won’t quit and can’t see your way out of it – your faith has been lost and shaken – here’s your chance and it’s worth taking – get on your knees and dig down deep you can do what you think is impossible – keep on believing and don’t give in you got the strength to race the wind – remember what one hard dream can do – YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE – you can weather any storm – don’t you know that you were BORN TO WIN.
In honor of FATHERS day I want to repost the letter I wrote to my first-born daughter way back in the 70″s. Some thing magical happened when I first held her in my arms. I can not explain it. I don’t know what happened but that 18-year-old boy from the south Bronx was changed for ever. I was shaking and emotional. She was the most AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL thing I had ever seen. I can still smell her. I can’t explain how great that baby smell is if you have never had a child but trust me it is wonderous! And you will NEVER forget it. I remember staring at her for hours and then I felt myself tingling and knowing that I was changing some how I can’t explain it, I just knew something was happening. I held her close to me so I could whisper in her ear and that’s when I told her. “I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO YOU.” And so began my journey to becoming a FATHER. And over the next couple of years I came to understand what being a father was and i put a pen to paper and this is the letter I wrote.
Father… What is a father? For me it is who I am, what I am, what I want to be, what i need to be. It is the responsibility I live for. I will not apologize for being a father, for being the adult when the situation calls for it. I will make the decision I belive is the right one as your father, not as your friend. I will love you unconditionally. I will protect you till my last breath. I will respect you and demand you respect me. I will financially support you. I will emotionally encourage you to dream to believe in the greatness that is inside you. I will push you to be the best you can be, what you want to be , not who I want or think you should be. I will accept your individuality, your life style choices, i will never judge you. I will just love and support you. I will educate you-not because I am more intelligent than you, but because i am more experienced than you, because I have already made the mistakes and learned from them and I want to share them with you to help you avoid repeating them. This I swear to you! This I promise! I dedicated my life to you the day you were born. You will always be my first and only priority. I will never raise my hand to you. I will never abandon you. Because I AM A FATHER.
If you are a young man thinking about becoming a FATHER or already are a FATHER I encourage you to read my letter a few times and see if any of it can help you in your journey into FATHERHOOD. I do not claim it to be anything other than how I feel so please don’t take it as me preaching or saying that this is definitive. I just know that this is how I have lived my life. I have accomplished much in my life. From becoming a u.s.marine, to staying married for almost 40 years, to my many career accomplishments but nothing even comes close to being a good FATHER!
Why do you abuse your wife, girlfriend, husband, boyfriend, partner or child? Oh yea i know, it’s because YOU ARE A BITCH! I am so sick and tired of society offering up excuses for you, like you had a rough childhood, your mommy and daddy didn’t hug you enough or you have a drug or alcohol problem. Bullshit! It’s because you are a punk ass bitch with serious feelings of inadequacy who needs to be treated just like the piece of shit abuser that you are.
Abusive men and women come in all forms. Some abusive men and women only verbally abuse, other abusive men and women only physically abuse. There are abusive men and women who verbally, physically, mentally, sexually and financially abuse their partners. Abusers need to feel in control and because of feelings of inadequacy inside themselves, they abuse their partners to feel powerful and in control. They ensure they gain these feelings of power and control by abusing their partners in any way which works for them.
Domestic Violence does not discriminate against age, race, color, creed, gender or sexual orientation. Women may hesitate to call for help… men are even less likely to ask for help. Society has been taught to think of domestic violence victims as women…. it is time for society to open their eyes!
Abusive men are nice at the start of the relationship but work fast to gain control of you. They will subtly isolate you from your friends and family and lower your self-esteem. Never give up any of your friends or family. Abusive men isolate you from them because it is easier to control you. Abusive men cannot handle others getting attention from you. They feel jealous, insecure and powerless if they do not have every minute of your time. Abusive men cannot handle these feelings. They do not know how to express this in an acceptable manner so they lash out. By hurting you, the abuser will gain control of the situation and feel good about himself. He does not care how you feel or how much he hurts you in order to feel good. Any sign of remorse is because he is afraid you will leave him, not because he feels bad about hurting you.
There are five main abusive relationship signs. These fall into the categories of verbal, physical, mental, sexual and financial.
Abusive men or women will lightly verbally abuse their partners first. They will make out as though they are joking. If you laugh at or overlook any name calling or put downs which come out of their mouths, you are only making them believe that it is ok to call you names. Making fun of your beliefs, habits or attitude is part of mental abuse. You are entitled to your own beliefs regardless if others share them or not. Abusers constantly pick on the littlest things because it is making them feel good about themselves.
Physical abuse is an obvious abusive relationship sign. Physical abuse can come in the form of pushing grabbing, slapping, punching, kicking. Disrespect of your body or your property in any form is how abusers try to control you. Sexual abuse is being forced to have sex against your will. Just because he or she is your boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, wife or partner it does not give them the right to your body if you do not feel responsive. Good men or women do not force their partners to do anything that they do not want to do or make them feel bad for refusing sexual advances.
Some abusers will limit their partner’s access to money. This is financial control. Abusers only give their partners enough money to ensure that they stay close. If they give out too much money then that gives the opportunity for their partner to leave them. So, they limit their partners allowance to ensure they cannot be abandoned.
The abusive relationship signs are easy to spot once you know what you are looking for. Never make excuses the first time you see any of the abusive relationship signs. Making excuses such as they did not mean it or they have been drinking only encourages them to continue and to escalate the abuse because you stayed the first time they showed abusive behaviour. There is no excuse for abusive behaviour and being the victim of abuse is not because you did anything wrong even though abusive men and women would make you believe that. They are the ones with the problem and the only way to deal with an abusive man or women is to not have them in your life. Abusers do not change. They have abused their partner before you and they will abuse the partner after you. SO WAKE UP AND GET OUT OF YOUR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. Yes I know it’s easier said then done. And for many reasons it will be the hardest decision of your life to get out, but you deserve respect and to be safe and happy. And understand that the anticipation of an event is always greater than the actual event. YOU WILL MOVE ON AND LIFE WILL BE BETTER!!
- Survey: 30 percent of women abused in relationships (cbsnews.com)
- Dating Violence Common Among Teens (education.com)
- Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse (everydayhealth.com)
I stare at my reflection in the mirror… Why am i doing this to myself? Losing my mind on a tiny error, i nearly left the real me on the shelf no, no, no, no Don’t loose who you are in the blur of the stars. SEEING IS DECEIVING, DREAMING IS BELIEVING. IT’S OK NOT TO BE OK… Some times it’s hard to follow your heart. Tears don’t mean you’re loosing, everybody’s bruising JUST BE TRUE TO WHO YOU ARE… Brushing my hair do i look perfect? I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah! The more I try the less it’s working. yea, yea, yea Cause every thing inside me screams no, no, no, no Don’t loose who you are in the blur of the stars. SOME TIMES IT’S HARD TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART…
Powerful words coming from a poet? NO. From a psychologist? NO. From an educator? NO. They are the lyrics from an incredible music artist named JESSIE J. who has released a great CD. That reminds us that we are all special in our own ways, that we are not perfect that we make mistakes and when we make a mistake we should own it, learn from it and move on. And people should forgive us. And we can be who we are. short, tall, fat, skinny, black, white, yellow, brown, green, gay, straight, handicapped, or able, rich or poor. Just be TRUE TO WHO YOU ARE. Love and respect yourself. Dream the big dream, believe and achieve.
I never meant to hurt ya. I know it’s time that i learned to treat the people i love like i wanna be loved. This is a lesson learned. I hate that I let you down and i feel so bad about it, I guess karma comes back around cause now I’m the one who’s hurting yea and i hate that i made you think that the trust we had was broken, so don’t tell me that you can’t forgive me cause nobody’s PERFECT no, no, no, no, nobody’s PERFECT!
Because you come from the hood, you ride or die with your crew, you make it rain, you pop bottles, you have ladies in many zip codes, you push a hot whip? Let me break it down. Any body can knock out any body. That does not make you a man it only makes you bigger, stronger, faster than the other guy. You have a couple of “girl friends” That makes you a womanizer, and abuser, a liar, a phony to the women who think they care about you. You make it “rain”. You “pop bottles” That makes you a financial moron! Spending $350.00 in a club for a $37.00 bottle of vodka . Now let me give you my definition of a man. A man loves and respects his wife/women, loves and protects, educates, and nurtures his children. He does what ever it takes to support his family by educating himself, seeking to move up and get promotions in his job or working 2,or 3 jobs if he needs to. Not buying that whip if he can not comfortably afford it. A man is the one who has $10.00 left in his pocket and needs to get to work but does not have enough gas in his car, he knows his baby needs milk/diapers so he spends the money on his child and forgets about the gas, Instead he gets up extra early and takes the bus/train to get to work. He does not make excuses for his situation, instead he works to improve it. He embraces his position as the man of the house, does not disrespect his spouse/girlfriend, does not physically or mentally abuse her. Instead he encourages and embraces her and appreciates her contributions to the relationship. This is my definition of a man. So look in the mirror,. Challenge yourself, Believe in yourself and be a MAN……