Why do you abuse your wife, girlfriend, husband, boyfriend, partner or child? Oh yea i know, it’s because YOU ARE A BITCH! I am so sick and tired of society offering up excuses for you, like you had a rough childhood, your mommy and daddy didn’t hug you enough or you have a drug or alcohol problem. Bullshit! It’s because you are a punk ass bitch with serious feelings of inadequacy who needs to be treated just like the piece of shit abuser that you are.
Abusive men and women come in all forms. Some abusive men and women only verbally abuse, other abusive men and women only physically abuse. There are abusive men and women who verbally, physically, mentally, sexually and financially abuse their partners. Abusers need to feel in control and because of feelings of inadequacy inside themselves, they abuse their partners to feel powerful and in control. They ensure they gain these feelings of power and control by abusing their partners in any way which works for them.
Domestic Violence does not discriminate against age, race, color, creed, gender or sexual orientation. Women may hesitate to call for help… men are even less likely to ask for help. Society has been taught to think of domestic violence victims as women…. it is time for society to open their eyes!
Abusive men are nice at the start of the relationship but work fast to gain control of you. They will subtly isolate you from your friends and family and lower your self-esteem. Never give up any of your friends or family. Abusive men isolate you from them because it is easier to control you. Abusive men cannot handle others getting attention from you. They feel jealous, insecure and powerless if they do not have every minute of your time. Abusive men cannot handle these feelings. They do not know how to express this in an acceptable manner so they lash out. By hurting you, the abuser will gain control of the situation and feel good about himself. He does not care how you feel or how much he hurts you in order to feel good. Any sign of remorse is because he is afraid you will leave him, not because he feels bad about hurting you.
There are five main abusive relationship signs. These fall into the categories of verbal, physical, mental, sexual and financial.
Abusive men or women will lightly verbally abuse their partners first. They will make out as though they are joking. If you laugh at or overlook any name calling or put downs which come out of their mouths, you are only making them believe that it is ok to call you names. Making fun of your beliefs, habits or attitude is part of mental abuse. You are entitled to your own beliefs regardless if others share them or not. Abusers constantly pick on the littlest things because it is making them feel good about themselves.
Physical abuse is an obvious abusive relationship sign. Physical abuse can come in the form of pushing grabbing, slapping, punching, kicking. Disrespect of your body or your property in any form is how abusers try to control you. Sexual abuse is being forced to have sex against your will. Just because he or she is your boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, wife or partner it does not give them the right to your body if you do not feel responsive. Good men or women do not force their partners to do anything that they do not want to do or make them feel bad for refusing sexual advances.
Some abusers will limit their partner’s access to money. This is financial control. Abusers only give their partners enough money to ensure that they stay close. If they give out too much money then that gives the opportunity for their partner to leave them. So, they limit their partners allowance to ensure they cannot be abandoned.
The abusive relationship signs are easy to spot once you know what you are looking for. Never make excuses the first time you see any of the abusive relationship signs. Making excuses such as they did not mean it or they have been drinking only encourages them to continue and to escalate the abuse because you stayed the first time they showed abusive behaviour. There is no excuse for abusive behaviour and being the victim of abuse is not because you did anything wrong even though abusive men and women would make you believe that. They are the ones with the problem and the only way to deal with an abusive man or women is to not have them in your life. Abusers do not change. They have abused their partner before you and they will abuse the partner after you. SO WAKE UP AND GET OUT OF YOUR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. Yes I know it’s easier said then done. And for many reasons it will be the hardest decision of your life to get out, but you deserve respect and to be safe and happy. And understand that the anticipation of an event is always greater than the actual event. YOU WILL MOVE ON AND LIFE WILL BE BETTER!!
- Survey: 30 percent of women abused in relationships (cbsnews.com)
- Dating Violence Common Among Teens (education.com)
- Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse (everydayhealth.com)