Sex Position Names


http://breakitdownpete.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/sex-position-names-link/ Click this link for the answers with pictures!

Ahhhhhhhh Shit, finally! My Man! you are going to break down the sex thingggggggggggg! First things first, you can get all kinds of wound up just from the names of some of the positions! Now I have been around for a long time and this is not my first rodeo. But WTF out of about 35 sex position names I could only identify about 3. SON OF A BITCH I’m pissed, but on the floor in tears with laughter over visualizing theses names. Give it your best shot and see if you know what some of these positions are. Spell some of them out for me if you think you can. In a few days I will share the link to the pictures and descriptions to the names of the positions. If you are nice to me of course? 1. The pretzel dip 2. Flatiron 3. G-wiz 4. Face off 5. Cowgirls helper 6. Leap frog 7. Ballet dancer 8. Cork screw 9. Wheel barrow 10. X-factor 11. The caboose 12. Stand and deliver 13. Butter churner 14. The seashell 15. Magic mountain 16. The pinball wizard 17. Valedictorian.    SERIOUSLY? THE PRETZEL DIP!
Disclaimer: Warning: Unless you work for cirque du soleil some of these positions can kill you! or at least dislocate something. Holy flying salami I think I need a cigaret and a nap after reading this list. Or at the very least a shower!

UPDATE!   So Mr. Guapo-lisious has thrown down the gauntlet. Him and his young self, hanging from ceiling fans and shit! Now I ain’t no spring chicken but we have some moves of our own cause my woman is all acrobatic and shit, don’t let the grey hairs fool you. We got moves like  1. The wheel chair  2. The sit down and don’t move  3. The Advil  4. The oops my bad  5. The resuscitation.  6. The don’t you wish.  These are just a few because I can’t give you all my moves in one post. You young kids ain’t ready for all that freakness!

My Grown Folk back me up on this one (Ha,Ha I said back me up. Thats my secret move.) Let these young kids know how we roll!

26 Comments

Filed under Current events, Life, Marriage, Sexy

26 responses to “Sex Position Names

  1. As a forty something, I’m all in on this conversation. I’ve got a position called the “Fuck! I’m calling in sick tomorrow! Vortex”. Notice the two exclamation points. Yeah, it’s a good one.
    As for you Pete, gray hairs my ass. You’ve got plenty left in that tank of yours. You’re a sick pup, though. Gotta tell ya.

  2. Wait just a minute, Pete. These are the names of YOGA positions. Am I in the wrong class??? Downward Dog anyone? ;)

  3. I can’t wait to find out what positions these names go to. I have my own to worry about though: Sailor’s Knot, Hog-Tied with no Luau, Rocking Horse, Dead Horse, Beat a Dead Horse and Slippery Path.

  4. The Oops is my go-to move!!!!
    And if you could hand me my gauntlet, I ain’t quite young enough to lean over to pick it up.
    Like they said in The Matrix – “I’d LOVE the blue pill!”

  5. I can’t wait to try — excuse me — see Butter Churner (you know, everything IS better with butter). And Pete, I strongly suspect that if you tried G-wiz, you’ve already had your shower :-).

    • Two showers! And the butter is warming up! Paula check out the post update, I need a little back up from the Grown folk out there!

      • LMFAO at the update, Pete! The “wheelchair” made me laugh out loud. Then the “oops my bad” made me flinch (been there; done that), but I laughed nonetheless. Now, the “resuscitation” — note that it implies that which was up, came down and was raised a second time — is for young folks. You old guys are lucky to get past the Lazarus. :-)

  6. The mind boggles! (And the boggle isn’t a position). Brilliant!

  7. I have absolutely no idea, but I’m pretty sure the corkscrew involves a ceiling fan.
    And a chiropracter.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, my girl and I are going to perform the Braying Sherpa.

  8. Hilarious! However, I have my own name for things, so None of these terms are familiar to me. Can’t wait to see the answers!!!
    -Cindy

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